Dude,Where's My Blackbird?
by The Bud
Summary: After a movie was discribed to me, and a bout of soy gas, this came.


Disclaimer: I own no part of any of this story.  
  
This story was partly inspired by my soon to be spouse, whom told me about  
  
the movie this is patterened after. Again, this may present elements hazardous  
  
to your general mental development, but hey! Beats the heck outta drugs!  
  
  
Dude, Where's my Blackbird?  
  
"Awwww!!!" Cyclops grumbled as he awoke in the Danger Room with a hangover.  
  
"Cripes! I got a mission!" He said as his mind once again turned to sex and soon forgot  
  
about the whole Genosha thing.   
  
Just then Wolverine came in wearing nothing but a terrycloth bathrobe and they coulda gotten it on  
  
right there, but niether Cyclops nor Wolverine swing that way, so they didn't. Then Beast came by mumbling  
  
something about Punnet squares and how is Jean and Wolvering had kids, there would be a one in four   
  
chance that the kids would have red hair and a fifty percent chance that they would have green eyes  
  
and gave all fanfic writers the finger and kicked one in particular in the gonads while he spouted off about  
  
if a hurricane had a twenty five percent chance of decimating a town, they'd evacuate and left.  
  
  
So, anyways, after I rubbed my gonads in pure bliss, Wolverine and Cyclops went on their mission and found  
  
some hot Shi-ar babes, and Bishop, but they ate Bishop, or thought they did when one of the babes cried, "It was a mercy killing!"  
  
and left. Then they got back to earth to find they forgot the Blackbird somewhere in that three days of journey.  
  
"Dude, Where's my blackbird?" Cyclops cried as Jubilee skated over his feet.  
  
  
So they flew to Canada and went to every bar like Wolverine suggested and every girl knew them by name.  
  
Scott almost got lucky, but he remembered he had a pregnant telepath at home ready to kill him.  
  
Then they discovered Wolverine's horrible secret, he is dislexic and found out his name was really Nagol.  
  
After being teased about that so much in school, he begged his parents to let him get false memory  
  
implants, which later where removed thanks to memory leakage. Then Scott found he had a lactating nubbin.  
  
So then they flew to Japan to ask the Hand which "hand" where they, and where promptly attaced by women  
  
admiring Scott's package, which was searched in customs.  
  
Not finding the blackbird, they flew to Ancorage to see Jean, who had eatin all the Moose Tracks icecream there was.  
  
Dissapointed, they flew to Mexico to surprise Skin with the water. After they flew to Massachusits, Skin got terminal   
  
diarehea and could no longer date Jubilee, that made Wolvie happy. So, after fuling up and  
  
asking a few more people, "Dude where's my blackbird?" They discovered Scott had a tattoo on his back of  
  
Maddie, his first wife. After deciding that it sucked, they went to Scotland to see if Banshee had seen the blackbird.  
  
  
Thinking this was some big joke, he had said he had not and went on his irish way and had a whisky drink,  
  
he had a lager drink, he had a cider drink, he had a vodka drink, and passed out.  
  
So they went to England to ask Captain Britan who also hadn't seen it, but did see the naked picture of his sister.  
  
After being told that she was clothed and that was just her costume and went to go visit some preists... in Russia.  
  
So, anyways, after being kicked out of Russia they went home, when Wolverine asked,  
  
"What have we been flying in?"  
  
"So they had to stop, go back to Canada and get the keys to the Quinjet back in New York.   
  
Then they went back out to look for the Blackbird. They went through a Taco Bell, and got thirty Tacos and took half an  
  
hour to decide just to hear them say "And then." Thirty times. Then they went to find the  
  
Hot alien babes oly to be told that their Dudes. So anyways, they got back to the mansion  
  
and found the blackbird, right next to the other quinjets, with a near empty tank.  
  
"Dude, there's the blackbird!" Scott yelled, then Batman came out and smacked him.  
  
The End. 


End file.
